"You're Such a Good Mom"

Recently a friend said to me, "You're such a good mom," after I explained what I had going on that day. My initial reaction was, 'No I'm not,' but instead I wrote, 'I'm just doing my best.' Why was it hard for me to accept this incredibly nice compliment? I'm not at all prideful about my mom-ing capabilities. In fact, I am often very critical of myself and think I am messing up my children all the time. But what makes a good mom really?

I guess I needed to ask some 16 going on 17-year-old teenage experts. I had never asked them this question. Seems strange that I have never before thought to ask my kids what they needed from me as a mom. I always I just assumed I mostly knew what they needed, or tried to figure it out. I'm so glad I asked them today. I've learned some things I can work on. Here's what they said...

"One that keeps changing and adapting to their child's needs out of love."

"Being gracious but unafraid to correct them."

"Always trying her best to understand her child's life when it's way different than hers."

"I think it's always important to be understanding and listen, but it's also super important to guide your kids and not let them run free."

"Finding the middle ground between spoiling and giving your kids everything and being too harsh and saying no to everything."

"Kids are still growing and learning and whether they know it or not they need help and boundaries set so they don't make extreme mistakes... but not too many so they can learn from their own!"

"Being able to think of my mom as a best friend and tell her about everything that happens in my life."

Some good stuff from these sweet girls. I am going to take that in and do my best. But really, I need to look to the Bible to learn what makes a good mom...

Mom goals!

I Got One of Those Calls

I knew in all likelihood that I was going to get one of those calls some day... a call from one of my girls who had been in an accident. The chances were even higher since we live in an ever on-and-off snowy, icy, slushy Midwest winter state.

"Mom?! I rolled my car and I'm so scared!" wailed Olivia over the phone on a warm but extremely snowy night. My heart sank into my stomach like every mom who has ever gotten such a call. "Call 911! I'm coming!" was all I managed to get out as I ran upstairs to wake up Brad and bolted for the door.

How did this happen? An hour ago there was no snow on the roads? Olivia had just left work and was trying to make it home. I called Olivia back and tried to calm her down as we plowed our way through the snow eight miles down the road to where we found her car on its side. Some kind people helped Olivia climb out of the "top" of her car (which was the passenger side door) and she tried to warm up in the cop car as she waited for us. I could hear through my end of the phone how the officer was kind, calm, and reassuring to Olivia. We were almost there. It was a blur of snow, headlights, and strobes lights as we approached.

Brad could barely get the truck in park before I was running through the snow to squeeze Olivia in a hug. She was ok! She was in shock, but she was ok! She was crying, but she was ok! Thank you Lord!!!! The car was another story. Her beloved CRV was likely going to be totaled, but as my friend said, "That car did its job. It kept her safe!" Indeed it did.

Olivia is still very scared to drive in the snow, and we will be working on that again next winter, I'm sure. It reminds me that this world is a scary place. Bad things happen to us, and around us, all the time. Sometimes it feels so out of control and it's no wonder we feel anxiety. Still, I am reminded again that when I watched my girls drive off for the first time I had to let go of my anxiety and worry. I had to trust that God cares for them more than I do. He knows that they will encounter bad things in this world, but He also promises that He has it all figured out. "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world." John 16:33

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A0Ju6Gor1g

Do Your Best and Let God Do the Rest

There is a phrase that has become my chant these days. I'm not sure where it came from. Did I make it up or read it somewhere? Some quotes I found online attribute it to Dr. Ben Carson... hmmm maybe?

I have a job where I often, almost daily, feel like I'm not smart enough to be doing it. I often think one of these days someone is going to find out I'm not as smart as I should be. I have this fear of complete failure. Working with brilliant physicians and scientists in my work gives me an inferiority complex. So when I am driving to yet another work presentation where I am trying to convince doctors and scientists that I know the best ways they should teach, I am often dealing with some adrenaline and anxiety. It is in those moments that I pray and then chant over and over that simple phrase, "Just do your best and let God do the rest." I don't just chant it like a memorized childhood bedtime prayer. I actually think about the words I am saying. What I'm really saying is that I am so limited. My knowledge and abilities are God given. I cannot rely on my own smarts, or strength, or even charisma. I need to just do what I can and believe that God will do it for me. He's been doing it for me for years! Look at where he has brought me!

Ok, there is no exact Bible verse that states this. However, this sentiment is certainly present in a number of Bible verses.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Colossians 3:23-24 (NIrV)

"In a race all the runners run. But only one gets the prize. You know that, don’t you? So run in a way that will get you the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIrV)

"I can do all this by the power of Christ. He gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13 (NIrV)

All of these verses point to the importance of using all of our God-given abilities to do our best. There is one issue I do have with my chant... at what point do we allow God to do the rest? When we are exhausted? When we don't feel smart enough? When we are sick? Really, we are supposed to allow God to work from the very beginning. Before we do your best, we should commit our effort to the Lord. He promises to accomplish His purpose through us.

"Commit to the Lord everything you do. Then he will make your plans succeed."

Proverbs 16:3 (NIrV)