We are Going to Make it Through

I write this post today as I spend the day sick at home. I'm finding this season of my life challenging. Like many of you, I'm trying to juggle working a demanding full-time job, raising triplet juniors in high school, and managing chronic illnesses (my own and Sophie's). Currently I'm busy learning a new job, planning a medical education scholarship conference, writing articles, scheduling college visits for my girls, picking out prom dresses, managing doctor's appointments, volunteering for the school musical, traveling to softball tournaments, going to physical therapy, trying to pay attention to my husband, and lastly trying to squeak in some time for things I enjoy (friends and family). I'm tired... but I am also so grateful for my life!  I don't want to rush my girls' years of growing up, AND I don't regret getting my degrees and my job.

However, some days I want to just quit... I want to stay in bed and sleep all day. Today is one of those days. When I get sick, I know it's God's (and my body's) way of forcing me to slow down and rest. So that is what I'm doing. I guess that is why this is my favorite verse:

As I was posting on my Facebook site "Moms on Bed Rest" I came across this song I shared with the moms and I realized I needed it too today. Maybe you do to! We are going to make it through because God is with us and for us.

"You're Such a Good Mom"

Recently a friend said to me, "You're such a good mom," after I explained what I had going on that day. My initial reaction was, 'No I'm not,' but instead I wrote, 'I'm just doing my best.' Why was it hard for me to accept this incredibly nice compliment? I'm not at all prideful about my mom-ing capabilities. In fact, I am often very critical of myself and think I am messing up my children all the time. But what makes a good mom really?

I guess I needed to ask some 16 going on 17-year-old teenage experts. I had never asked them this question. Seems strange that I have never before thought to ask my kids what they needed from me as a mom. I always I just assumed I mostly knew what they needed, or tried to figure it out. I'm so glad I asked them today. I've learned some things I can work on. Here's what they said...

"One that keeps changing and adapting to their child's needs out of love."

"Being gracious but unafraid to correct them."

"Always trying her best to understand her child's life when it's way different than hers."

"I think it's always important to be understanding and listen, but it's also super important to guide your kids and not let them run free."

"Finding the middle ground between spoiling and giving your kids everything and being too harsh and saying no to everything."

"Kids are still growing and learning and whether they know it or not they need help and boundaries set so they don't make extreme mistakes... but not too many so they can learn from their own!"

"Being able to think of my mom as a best friend and tell her about everything that happens in my life."

Some good stuff from these sweet girls. I am going to take that in and do my best. But really, I need to look to the Bible to learn what makes a good mom...

Mom goals!

I Got One of Those Calls

I knew in all likelihood that I was going to get one of those calls some day... a call from one of my girls who had been in an accident. The chances were even higher since we live in an ever on-and-off snowy, icy, slushy Midwest winter state.

"Mom?! I rolled my car and I'm so scared!" wailed Olivia over the phone on a warm but extremely snowy night. My heart sank into my stomach like every mom who has ever gotten such a call. "Call 911! I'm coming!" was all I managed to get out as I ran upstairs to wake up Brad and bolted for the door.

How did this happen? An hour ago there was no snow on the roads? Olivia had just left work and was trying to make it home. I called Olivia back and tried to calm her down as we plowed our way through the snow eight miles down the road to where we found her car on its side. Some kind people helped Olivia climb out of the "top" of her car (which was the passenger side door) and she tried to warm up in the cop car as she waited for us. I could hear through my end of the phone how the officer was kind, calm, and reassuring to Olivia. We were almost there. It was a blur of snow, headlights, and strobes lights as we approached.

Brad could barely get the truck in park before I was running through the snow to squeeze Olivia in a hug. She was ok! She was in shock, but she was ok! She was crying, but she was ok! Thank you Lord!!!! The car was another story. Her beloved CRV was likely going to be totaled, but as my friend said, "That car did its job. It kept her safe!" Indeed it did.

Olivia is still very scared to drive in the snow, and we will be working on that again next winter, I'm sure. It reminds me that this world is a scary place. Bad things happen to us, and around us, all the time. Sometimes it feels so out of control and it's no wonder we feel anxiety. Still, I am reminded again that when I watched my girls drive off for the first time I had to let go of my anxiety and worry. I had to trust that God cares for them more than I do. He knows that they will encounter bad things in this world, but He also promises that He has it all figured out. "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world." John 16:33

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A0Ju6Gor1g

Do Your Best and Let God Do the Rest

There is a phrase that has become my chant these days. I'm not sure where it came from. Did I make it up or read it somewhere? Some quotes I found online attribute it to Dr. Ben Carson... hmmm maybe?

I have a job where I often, almost daily, feel like I'm not smart enough to be doing it. I often think one of these days someone is going to find out I'm not as smart as I should be. I have this fear of complete failure. Working with brilliant physicians and scientists in my work gives me an inferiority complex. So when I am driving to yet another work presentation where I am trying to convince doctors and scientists that I know the best ways they should teach, I am often dealing with some adrenaline and anxiety. It is in those moments that I pray and then chant over and over that simple phrase, "Just do your best and let God do the rest." I don't just chant it like a memorized childhood bedtime prayer. I actually think about the words I am saying. What I'm really saying is that I am so limited. My knowledge and abilities are God given. I cannot rely on my own smarts, or strength, or even charisma. I need to just do what I can and believe that God will do it for me. He's been doing it for me for years! Look at where he has brought me!

Ok, there is no exact Bible verse that states this. However, this sentiment is certainly present in a number of Bible verses.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Colossians 3:23-24 (NIrV)

"In a race all the runners run. But only one gets the prize. You know that, don’t you? So run in a way that will get you the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIrV)

"I can do all this by the power of Christ. He gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13 (NIrV)

All of these verses point to the importance of using all of our God-given abilities to do our best. There is one issue I do have with my chant... at what point do we allow God to do the rest? When we are exhausted? When we don't feel smart enough? When we are sick? Really, we are supposed to allow God to work from the very beginning. Before we do your best, we should commit our effort to the Lord. He promises to accomplish His purpose through us.

"Commit to the Lord everything you do. Then he will make your plans succeed."

Proverbs 16:3 (NIrV)

Learning Mercy Through Mistakes

It's hard when your kids mess up. Things that seem extremely simple to me are difficult for my girls - like bringing dishes and laundry baskets down from their rooms, throwing trash in the trash can, putting their dishes in the dishwasher, or flushing the toilet. These daily annoyances add up and I get so exasperated. The reoccurrence and lack of care, or trying, makes me so angry! Yet, I try to be patient and choose my battles.

So why am I venting about these small annoyances? Well, sometimes they aren't small mess-ups. Sometimes they are big. The girls have been driving for a little over 3 months now. They were doing well, but in the past 7 days both Evie and Olivia have hit the side of the garage with their cars. Luckily Evie did it first and didn't damage her car... just the garage a little. She came running in the house freaked out. I very calmly hugged her and said, "We all do it honey. We all make mistakes. I've hit things before too. It's a good lesson to remind us to slow down." I was showing Evie grace.

A few days later Olivia too quickly backed out of the garage with a car full of excited friends heading to the mall. She swiped the side of her car and took off her side mirror. Now the other side of the garage was damaged! Brad had just fixed Evie's side of the garage door. (We are going to become pros at this.) Immediately I was worried. What would Brad say? He is going to be so mad. This time there is car damage. She was clearly driving too fast and not being careful. Yet, Brad simply said, "Well the good news is I now know where to get the weather stripping and how to replace it." Brad was showing Olivia grace.

It wasn't always easy for us to do this. We are learning. We are learning to be more patient, to realize our kids are going to mess up, and to put things in perspective. I'm so glad we are constantly growing and learning as parents. It is because God shows us grace that we can extend that grace to our kids. It is because God forgives us when we repeatedly make the same mistakes, bad choices, selfish decisions - that we can extend the same forgiveness to our girls. When we realize we are not perfect, it becomes easier to understand that our kids are not going to be perfect either... far from it! They've had a few less years than us to learn from experience ;)

So I hope my girls learned a valuable lesson about extending patience, mercy, and forgiveness. I hope they recognize when they are called to do the same. I pray that, as parents, we are good models of God's love... well, as good as we are humanly able.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Exciting Times

I'm excited to announce I have three drivers starting their sophomore year of high school. I am so excited for this year! Part of me is very nervous when I see my girls driving off all together in one of their cars, but the other part of me is so happy for them as I see them grinning ear to ear just enjoying running errands together.

In other big news, the press release for my devotional has been released and I found my first online publicity in a Medina County, Ohio publication.

https://www.medinacountylife.com/books/stacey-pylman-announces-the-release-of-her-debut-book-titled-be-still-a-pregnancy-bed/article_ee7eb580-1e36-11ed-addd-fbf9c337ccb2.html

The Triplet Life - Lean on Me

Four more days until the big birthday! Here's a snapshot of the triplet life thus far. They may sometimes fight, but they are such good sisters to each other. They always have that support system built in. I think they are finally realizing that.

Birthday Countdown - Six Days Until They are Sixteen!

Six more days until the triplets turn 16 years old and take off on the roads by themselves. I think each day this week I will post something fun about this trio in celebration of this big birthday.

Today I would like to share a video I made when they turned six and then forgot about!

The song on this video ("Three Babies" by Sinead O'Connor) was one I used on one of their first baby videos.

The Devotional is in Print!!!!!!

It took eleven years of writing and one year of publishing work, but it's here! Be Still - A Pregnancy Bed Rest Devotional is now available for purchase!

Maybe you don't need this book for yourself, but I want you to remember it when you hear about a woman on bed rest. Better yet, buy it now and write me a review on Amazon! I need a lot of reviews so that the book becomes more searchable. I promise that the devotions are good for any mom who is going through a tough time, even if you aren't pregnant and on bed rest. If you don't need the book after reading, hold onto it for a gift for someone in the future!

Now I need to work on getting it into hospital gift shops. If only I didn't have two other jobs (yes one of them is being a mom).

You can buy it on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Still-Pregnancy-Rest-Devotional/dp/1664268189/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1659040208&sr=8-1

Or you can buy it from Westbow Press here: https://www.westbowpress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/836207-be-still

Driver's Education x3

When people ask me if raising triplets was hard, I used to say, "It was really difficult the first year. It really is a blur when I think back... But also potty training them at three years old was also one of the hardest times. Plus, they had such attitudes at three. So yeah, it was hard when they were babies and when they were three, but the rest has been so much fun."

That was my answer until my girls reached fourteen and fifteen years old. This past year has been something else! I have been dealing with hormones, drama, stress of freshman year, anxiety, and this strange combination of laziness + wanting... and all times three!

But I would be remiss not to mention the driver's training! That's right... three girls in driver's training all at once. Yes, that meant we had to clock 50 hours of driving times three girls. It actually went ok once we realized that sometimes Brad would need to take some girls out for Sunday afternoon drives to catch up on hours when they fell behind. (He would bribe them with iced coffee.) 

The stressful part for me was actually all the driving and coordination of driving I had to do freshman year. Three fifteen year olds in different activities meant there was a lot of driving to and from school, friends' houses, and school events. When one of my friends was complaining to me about having to drive her fifteen year old everywhere I mentioned, "I think the busyness is God's way of helping you get ready to hand them the keys when they turn sixteen. If that last year of mom's taxi wasn't so horrible, we would never let them drive on their own!" Now I'm realizing that it really is true. I'm terrified to let them all get in a car together and drive off without me, but I'm so tired of driving them around that can't wait for it to happen. (I'm still going to be on my knees praying at home though!)

Well today we finally made it through driver's training. All three girls passed their road tests! Once they turn sixteen in August, off they go! We are turning a new chapter into independence. With licenses and cars, I will not be spending as much time with them in the car. They will be gone more doing teenage things. They will need to get another job to pay for gas. My girls are going to be quickly learning to be adults out in the world. Now more than ever, I realize that I have a few short years left to guide them into adulthood. They have passed driver's education, but I've got a lot of life education to share with them yet. As Proverbs 22:6 says, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it"

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I'm Back!

It has been eleven years since I have written on this blog. Yup, the days are long, but the years have flown by! My girls are now fifteen years old and they are about to get their driver's licenses in a month!

So why am I going back to writing on this blog again? I am no longer on bedrest, my girls are teenagers, and I'm not sure anyone is following this blog anymore. The reason is quite exciting! I am publishing a devotional for pregnant mothers on bedrest! It took me ten long years to get it done, but it is going into print soon!

God put it on my heart eleven years ago to start writing a devotional for women on bed rest. I started writing the first few devotions with excitement. I laced together my stories, words from God, reflections on faith, and bed rest survival tips. But then life happened. I struggled with chronic illness. I went back to school to get my doctorate in teacher education, and I was a working mom. The progress on the devotional was slow... until the pandemic hit in 2020. I was again in lock-down, but this time it wasn't bedrest. I had extra time and God whispered, "Finish the devotional." I answered the call.

Now clearly I have a job, and I am not publishing to get rich. My goal and my prayer is to get this devotional into the hands of pregnant mothers on bedrest all over the world. I don't know how it is going to happen, but I trust God has a plan. I wait with anticipation, and let's be honest a little anxiety, as he unfolds it before me.

So, welcome back or welcome to my blog for the first time! I am going to give you all updates on the devotional, Be Still. I'm also going to share my adventures in trying to become a published author out in the world, share more fun stories of being a mom of triplet teenage girls, and share reflections on my faith. I'm also excited to hear from you all too!

End of a Life... and the start of New!

Meet Stripey.

The girls came running inside the house on their birthday excited to have found a new pet. I was excited to see that it was a monarch caterpillar on a milk weed leaf! Oh the science teacher in me was bursting with glee! Quickly I found a large clear vase that was to be Stripey's home for the next couple weeks.

Here you see Stripey already attached upside-down by the silk-button he had made, hanging in the J-shape. It would only take a day hanging upside-down like this before he shed his skin for the last time and form his chrysalis.

Sadly, Stripey waited until the house was really quiet one night to go through his change. I was gone tutoring, and Brad took the girls to the cottage. We all came home to this beautiful green chrysalis!

Then we waited....
The Internet said Stripey would be in his Chrysalis for 9-14 days. I knew that we would be up at Silver Lake during this change, so I convinced Brad to bring him up with him. On day 9 we could start to see the black stripes in the wings show through the green of the chrysalis. On day 10 the chrysalis was no longer green! It was clear and you could see the beautiful orange and black wings of the monarch butterfly! It was all compact, but very distinct! Early in the morning on day 11, while Evie and Daddy were crossing the dunes to the big lake, Stripey broke free from his chrysalis.

His wings were wet and he hung from the clear, torn chrysalis for 2 hours slowly beginning to flap his wings a bit.

Then we decided if he was ever going to fly away we had to take him out in the sun and let him really dry his wings and fly when he was ready. So out to the deck he went!

Here you can see that Stripey was indeed a male this whole time! The extra black dots on his lower wings tell that he is a male butterfly!

The girls watch him with awe! They love Stripey!

Grandma holds him for awhile...

... and then puts him on some nearby leaves while we eat lunch.

Three and a half hours after coming out of his chrysalis Stripey flies!

Fly Stripey fly!

As with anything treasured and beautiful, it was hard to say goodbye. But, it was time to let him go.

On that note, this is also my last blog post. For 5 years I have shared joys, hardships, beauty and laughter of raising triplet girls through this blog. I am so thankful I will always have this record! However, like Stripey, it is time to move on and let it go.

If you want to still keep up on my girls, you can follow us on Facebook :)
Love,
Stacey

Happy 5th Birthday!

I can't believe they are 5 years old! My little baby girls who weren't even 5 lbs are now 5 years. They are such a joy and I loved celebrating their birthdays with them :)

Sophie's cake - A blue morpho butterfly (learned in preschool)

Olivia's cake - Belle from Beauty & the Beast

Evie's Thomas the Train Cake - to be shared with cousin Nick

The second birthday celebration :)

Modeling their stuff :)